Before I Formed You: Truth in a Culture of Confusion

I am a product of an unplanned pregnancy. 

Because of my story, I have had very personal conversations with people who were born out of rape, born to a birth mom who was fourteen years old, raised in an abusive home, lived in a single-parent welfare home, or never left the foster care system. Though these people were born into less than ideal circumstances, today, they are thankful for their lives.

I have also spoken with parents who were told at birth that their child had only a fifty percent chance of survival, and with others who were warned that their child’s quality of life would be minimal at best, both based on misdiagnoses. Today, those children are alive and healthy.

There is a significant amount of misinformation, in my view, that is often repeated in pro choice arguments:

• that life begins at birth
• that the unborn child is merely a blob of tissue rather than a baby
• that the unborn does not yet have a meaningful life
• that the unborn child is simply a part of a woman’s body, and therefore she alone has the right to decide the child’s fate
• that it is unfair to bring a child into the world if that child may enter foster care or face a difficult home environment
• that abortion is entirely safe and without lasting physical or emotional effects
• that churches are only pro birth and not truly pro life, advocating for birth but doing little to support life afterward
• that most abortions are driven by cases of incest, rape, or danger to the mother’s life, when statistically these circumstances are relatively rare
• and more recently, the claim, expressed by figures such as Stacey Abrams, that a six week heartbeat does not exist and is merely a manufactured sound

This article is not at all intended to condemn anyone who made the choice to have an abortion and has asked for forgiveness, but it’s to remind anyone who may be considering an abortion, or anyone who may be considering voting for a party that not only approves, but celebrates and encourages abortions, to remember that life matters, from the beginning.

People who advocate for abortion should not presume to speak for those who were born into difficult home situations, or into foster care, or as the result of an unplanned pregnancy, in order to validate their position. Nor should they suggest that those individuals, including myself, would have been better off not being born.

Forty years ago, at just three days old, I was adopted into the most incredible family God could have ever given me. I also have a brother who was adopted, and it is amazing to see how much we look alike, even though, by all accounts, we shouldn’t.
I have always known I was adopted. And I’ve always known that my birthmom had an abortion before me and after me, yet somehow chose life for me. My parents were always very open with me about all parts of my adoption, and they always answered any questions I had about my birth parents. They kept in contact with my birth mom throughout the years.

On my wedding day, my mom gave me a letter that my birth mom had written to me. I noticed how much our handwriting and the style of our writing were alike. That was the time I began to be very interested in meeting my birth parents one day. I wanted to know more.
 

Eleven years ago, I finally had the opportunity to meet my birth mom. She had entered and won a “Santa’s Wish” contest on the radio, and the very first time I ever spoke with her was live on air. During that call, she told me she had won a trip to come and visit me. The following month, I met her in person for the first time. I was able to observe her mannerisms and was struck by how similar we were in so many ways. She also shares my heart for serving and helping in her community.

A few months later, I had the opportunity to meet my birth dad. I remember him arriving a few minutes late, and when I answered the door, he had huge tears in his eyes. He said he had to park around the corner because he couldn’t stop crying. He is such a kind man.

I will forever be grateful for the decision that my birth parents made forty years ago. And equally grateful for the decision my parents made in adopting me. They raised me in a loving, caring, Godly home, and I’ll never stop being thankful for that. Both of these decisions had a direct impact on the course of my life.

I often think about how different my life might have been if things had turned out another way. What if my mom and dad had not chosen to adopt another child? I would not have been raised in the family that shaped me. I may never have come to know God the way I do today. I would not have met my husband, whom I have known since I was a newborn. I may not be serving in ministry, which I truly believe is what I was created to do. And we would not have our three children.

I cannot imagine what life would look like if that moment had never happened. God was in it, as He always has been, from the very beginning, even before the moment of conception, which is when life begins.

When we talk about choosing life, it’s not just about someone who is pregnant and deciding which road to take. WE are responsible for choosing life as well.

CHOOSE LIFE, beginning with believing that life begins not when someone conveniently wants it to, but at conception.

CHOOSE LIFE by not being silent, even when you are bullied, pressured, or cancelled. Spread the word that every life matters, from the very beginning in the womb.

CHOOSE LIFE when you vote.

CHOOSE LIFE by fostering and adopting.

CHOOSE LIFE by supporting ministries that help pregnant moms who are choosing to give birth to their babies. I am thankful to be a part of a church that not only talks about the importance of choosing life, but lives it out as we partner with other local pro-life, adoption, and foster care ministries, and specifically with our very own Life Centre Compassion Ministries.

CHOOSE LIFE by praying for a day when America will no longer murder the innocent.

If we all, as pastors, ministry leaders, and Christian men and women, advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves, speak the truth, pray, and provide practical ways to help single moms who are choosing life and children in the foster care system, think of the difference we can make in our nation. Do not be silent, choose life out loud.

We pray today:

Lord, thank You for my life. Thank You for the opportunity to share my story and to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. May the words You placed on my heart encourage and challenge those who hear them. We live in a broken world where morals and right choices seem to decline so quickly, but hope is not lost because we trust in You. Lord, please bring peace, wholeness, healing, and strength to those who need it.

For those who seek forgiveness from a past decision, remind them of Your redeeming love and unwavering grace.

For those who feel that because of their life circumstances there is no other choice, surround them with people who will encourage and support choosing life, and open their hearts to what is right.

For those who are barren, that life will come, either through birth or adoption.

For those who are adoptive or foster parents, grant strength and joy in this calling.

For many hearts to be turned toward those who need a loving, Christian adoptive home, and parents who will love them as their own. May there never be a child who is not wanted, loved, and cherished, whether by biological or adoptive parents.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

If you are looking for resources or ideas on how to implement pro-life, foster, and adoption care ministries into your church, please email Brooke at bpiece@gracewoodlands.com.